BBUK: The Story so Far (SPOILERS)

The first 15 days, 2 hours and 19 minutes

The story so far can pretty much be summed up in one word - Alexandra. But hey, since when have I ever used one word when a few hundred will do?

WARNING: THIS ARTICLE CONTAINS SPOILERS

THE RELATIONSHIP TWIST

Thankfully this only lasted a few days so is now long forgotten. Basically 40-something couple Mario and Lisa are a couple, and upon entering they were split up and Mario paired up with 19 year old Stephanie as a decoy to disguise the secret couple. The only other HM in on this secret mission was Luke.

The next day Big Brother told Mario to propose to Steph. She accepted, the stag and hen nights followed - including a row between Sylvia and Mikey over a pair of knickers, and on Sunday they got married. Alexandra objected, believing it was a sham - but the wedding went ahead. However, at the reception BB asked the HMs to identify the couple in the house, and they identified Mario and Lisa, meaning that they, along with Stephanie and Luke, faced eviction in week one.

CHIPGATE

Rebecca cooked chips - they weren’t very nice. Alex kicked off, Stephanie got her head bitten off and Rachel cried to Big Brother and labelled Alex a bully. STRIKE ONE

SHOCKING

Big Brother tells the housemates to wear skin-tight shiny lycra jumpsuits, and the housemates do as instructed. For this week’s shopping task the housemates firstly had to compete against each other holding a board above their head for as long as possible. The two who persisted in the challenge would win a prize, while the others would face unknown consequences.

Rachel and Dennis won, but were too paranoid to touch their luxury picnic, believing the challenge was to not give into temptation. The second part of the prize was making them responsible for this weeks shopping task - completing a buzz wire which stretched through the house and garden. And now the other HMs learned the consequences - electrocution. Every time the wire was hit, the housemates got shocked. HIRARIOUS!!!!

FIRST OUT!

Everyone except for Mario - and his 14 million strong fan club, including his Mrs - expected Mario to get the boot this week - but as in each previous series, the first evictee turned out to be female, with Stephanie getting the boot.

CROSS DRESSING

Mohammed and the majority of the housemates celebrated his birthday with a bit of harmless cross dressing - but of course Alex objected. She slammed him for his behaviour and stated that as a Muslim she is supposed to be able to look up to him and that he had bought shame on the religion by dressing as a woman. She smokes, drinks and gets pretty aggressive - that’s bad enough, but OK of course. STRIKE TWO

TURNING JAPANEASY

The weekly task was all about Japan, with housemates learning the language, Karate, taking part in a “chopstick challenge” and five of them competing in Endurance Karaoke - 24 hours singing the Bonnie Tyler anthem Total Eclipse of the Heart, over 8000 times between them. And for the first time this series, they pass a task - meaning instead of arguing over using up their basic rations, they can now argue about how they spend their £525 budget.

REMEMBER I TOLD YOU

On Tuesday night Alex and Mario discovered they were nominated, and Alex responded with this during a conversation (where she did the talking) with Darnell:

I’m not throwing water at anyone. It’s bigger than that. This is three months, do you know what I mean? Three months in a house. Everyone’s got to come outside the house. Personal offence is never forgotten, do you know what I mean? We’re just inside the house. I’ve got a very, very, very, very, very strong team outside the house, strong, so solid, strong. I look forward to whatever the result. If I get out first, I get out, make the plans. Everyone’s got to come out after that. Every single one of you come out afterwards, remember I told you. Like I say, my team is strong, so strong. I just can’t wait to see my mans and them and see what their plans are, who they got…I’m not talking about those mans, I’m talking about my gangster friends. They got some instructions to follow out.

If you go you get to make all the plans, that you wanna make. When you’re in here you can’t do certain things. In my life I’m used to doing certain things. You know people piss me off and I do something like. I can’t actually do that while I’m here. But like I say, I get to go out, see everyone’s friends, I get to see their family. I get to do the shit that I wanna do. Pow, pow, pow.

A few housemates were clearly unsettled by her comments, with Rex absolutely clear that he considered them to be a threat. For Big Brother Alexandra had finally crossed the line, and the next day she was called to the diary room and informed she was being removed from the house immediately - and ratings shoot up by 1m overnight.

THE REPLACEMENT

So despite this weeks eviction now being cancelled, Big Brother would still replace Alexandra - and despite the men out-numbering the women 8-6, it would be a man making up the numbers.

Stuart is 25, a personal trainer and has a five year old daughter. He says he doesn’t really get on with the lads and pisses women off, so hasn’t got many friends. He’s straight, but is happy for people to think he is gay. He has done some nude modelling in the past, thinks the most insulting thing the housemates could do is call him ugly and would like to be reincarnated as… himself.

And in he go’s - and for the first time in five years it’s a simple replacement, no big intruder twist. However, it’s clear the producers main motives for putting him in is to get a reaction from Jennifer and Dale. They’ve been flirting since the beginning and spend most of their time together - but so far that’s about as far as they’ve got. So Davina is quick to point out how happy Jennifer looked and how gutted Dale was when Stuart arrived.

P.S. Kat is “hirarious” and Luke’s diary room entries are classics - they are the two clear front runners at the moment.

And that’s the first 15 days, 2 hours and 19 minutes (and a bit) of BB2008. Just about 77 days and 20 minutes to go then.

Thanks to bbspy.co.uk. For more from BBUK check out our International Forum