Behind Big BrotherBehind Big Brother

Housemates

Day 49

30 September 2012

Posted by Tim

9.26am – Housemates are learning their task for the week. It starts with “Big Brother has a deal for you, who likes shopping, who likes spending money? Housemates are going to love this task. Big Brother has generously provided housemates with $1000 in $1 coins. To pass this task, all you need to do is spend it all”. The money can only be used to pay for offers that Big Brother gives them – the first is a breakfast deal “Big Brother is offering poached brains”. It’s $10 per brain. They find them in the store room on a platter. The brains are quite small but the girls are a bit digested by them.

Michael suggests they cook them up with some eggs and pork when Big Brother butts in “the brains must be eaten as is. They have been poached to perfection. They are flavour to savour and at this price they won’t last long”. Michael and Sam eat the brains first. Layla is most disgusted but manages to start eating hers. Bradley says “they taste like death”. Estelle starts gagging while she eats it. Angie suggests she take small bites and not chew. Ben is also having trouble and spits the last of his poached brain out.

Layla comes to the diary room and asks what sort of animal did the brains come from. Big Brother responds “it was brain from an animal”.

“I’d love to know what animal Big Brother”

“No you wouldn’t”

“Oh please tell me, I’d rather know”

“Lamb”

“Really?”

..

“It wasn’t, was it?”

“What other brains are there?”

Layla suggests “human?”

Layla continues “imagine if I got really really clever because I ate that brain. If that happens and I start to use big words like Michael maybe you could give me a brain every day and by the time I leave the house I’ll be clever”.

The new ‘daily specials’ phone in the kitchen starts ringing. Bradley answers and it’s a man with an Indian accent who asks “are you a man who always likes to look at his very very best?”. The Indian man says he has a special on mens casual wear, which Bradley accepts for $12. In the store room he finds a string mankini (the type from the ‘Borat’ movie). Bradley exclaims “oh no!” and the housemates all cheer. Bradley goes to put it on and Josh says “this is worse than the brains”.

Bradley emerges from the bathroom wearing the mankini and a large area of his crotch is blurred out. The girls all shriek and Stacey suggests he’s going to have to tape it up. He emerges to the garden and the housemates clap. He’s still blurred.

Michael is angry because he cooked some pork and wrapped it in foil – but some one has cut the foil and that dries the meat out. Michael goes from housemate to housemate trying to figure out who cut it – it comes down to Angie and Ben “he said she said”. Angie gets defensive and they yell at each other. Ben repeats: Angie was cutting the foil. Angie is adamant that it was both her and Ben. The argument continues in the kitchen and they bicker back and forth.

Angie: Well Michael, this is potentially my last day and you’ve ruined it now.

They continue fighting back and forth very immaturely.

1.34pm – Michael is now feeling bad about the argument but is holding off from apologising to Angie. Bradley says maybe he should wait a day (alluding to Angie possibly being evicted tomorrow). The boys all theorise that Angie doesn’t like authority and doesn’t like being told what to do.

The daily specials phone rings again and Layla is offered an offer for a brand new wedding dress. It’s $25. She accepts, but soon finds it’s a gypsie wedding dress that includes 65 metres of fabric and weighs at 40 kilograms. Ben and Angie follow her into the diary room and they gasp with surprise. Ben says “you’ll look like Diana!” It takes them a while to get the dress onto Layla, including fake eyelashes, which she must wear all night.

Layla: “I haven’t got anyone to marry!”

Ben and Angie: “Yeah, Sam’s out there”

Layla: “Nooo!”

Ben: “If Sam doesn’t take you then George will take you, and if George doesn’t take you they’ll just put in another person”.

Later on the housemates have gathered to talk since they think there will be an eviction tonight. Michael gives an indirect apology by saying she’s a nice person, before Zoe makes him say it outright. Angie says “yaaay” and gives him a hug. Bradley thanks Estelle for his first kiss but also the confidence he’s gained from her in his ability to talk to girls. Josh says to Ava “I think the way you carry yourself and the way you present yourself is great and I don’t want you to leave but I guess if that happens we’ll see what happens beyond these doors”. They kiss.

The nominees are packing their bags, unaware there is no eviction tonight (because the NRL grand final is being televised instead). Ava gives him one of her sleeping singlets that fits perfectly. Ava tells Josh she left an extra present under his pillow.

Layla is wondering if some one will actually marry her one day. Delilah has started lying down on the train of Layla’s wedding dress.

Layla: At least some one appreciates the dress, aye Delilah?

Delilah runs off to the kitchen.

Layla: Ohh.. that’s a no!

Around 7pm the housemates have realised that something is not right – the hot water hasn’t been turned on for their usual pre-eviction show. Bradley predicts there could have been a tornado, earthquake, anything could have hit and the TV channel showing Big Brother has had to switch to that and the Big Brother eviction is not happening.

Layla needs to go to the toilet but with her huge wedding dress it’s impossible – she can’t even fit through the door properly. Zoe must help her onto the seat.

8.07pm (Typo – the show says AM) Zoe predicts that if Estelle is evicted the house will need to find some one else to bitch about but if Angie leaves.. the bitching will stop.

The housemates have been sitting on the couch for half an hour waiting for an eviction. Suddenly Big Brother booms:

“housemates, listen carefully. Big Brother has a deal for all housemates except the gypsie bride, and it’s only available for the next 30 seconds. It’s a hot deal which will cool you down. Housemates that’s right – it’s the deal you’ve all been thinking about but no one’s been talking about. For the modest sum of just $10 per housemate, Big Brother is offering .. fully clothed swims. I can tell you right now housemates Big Brother is losing money on this deal. $10 each. And yes, for your convenience, once those microphones come off you must leave all of you clothes on. Ten seconds left housemates”.

Most of the housemates run outside and jump in the pool with their clothes on. All of the girls stay behind, and the nominees are very confused – they don’t want to get wet before their potential eviction. Ava is very angry that Josh jumped in the pool with the singlet she gave him earlier. Estelle reassures her “don’t worry, it’s just water”.

Ava comes outside and asks why he jumped in the pool with the singlet on: “you put yourself before me.. but I don’t mind”. She’s visibly annoyed.

Shortly after Ava continues to complain about it to Estelle.

Zoe notices it’s a full moon and Layla says “that’s right, every time the housemates go crazy”. Zoe howls at the moon.

Layla comes to the diary room and asks Big Brother if there is going to be an eviction. She can keep a secret if Big Brother doesn’t want anyone else to know.

There’s a long pause and Big Brother doesn’t answer.

In the kitchen Josh apologises to Ava about jumping in the pool with her favourite singlet and says he wouldn’t normally do it. He rinsed it straight away She accepts his apology.

Layla shuffles into the kitchen, still wearing her massive wedding dress and starts eating some chocolate from the cupboard.

Layla: Sorry whose chocolate this is, but I really need some chocolate.

Estelle comes to the diary room and explains she’s excited at maybe not leaving this evening but is confused because they have a routine that has been interrupted: “the eviction is MIA”. Big Brother says “enjoy your evening, melmormay” (it’s gibberish).. Estelle looks very confused.

Angie is standing still outside looking just as confused.

Comments are closed.